Many people are already with the mindset that they would never consider a Long Distance Relationship (LDR). Family and friends may even discourage you and while we can all agree that LDR isn’t easy, it has its surprises and pros too.
The truth is, in the age of Facetiming and texting, Long Distance Relationships are easier than ever. We are no longer in the age where you have to wait days or even months awaiting a letter from your lover. This is not to dismiss the fact that LDR can be tough with the lack of physical proximity. However, with the right mindset and expectations, you can made a LDR thrive, grow and eventually work out.
Below are some tips that will help improve your Long Distance Relationship;
Technology is Your Best Friend
Long distance relationships are easier now, thanks to technology. With technology, you can communicate often and stay connected.
In a LDR, it is advised that you share details with your partner, talk as you would if you’re seeing physically. Talk about the dinner you went to, the weird food on the menu, who was there with you and every detail you could think of. Also ask questions and make everyday come alive for you two.
However, you don’t have to depend on technology alone. You can spice up your relationship by sending something tangible. Try mailing a love letter or postcard sprayed with your favorite perfume or try sending his favorite candy or a box of love letters. It’s the thought that matters.
2. Don’t Talk Everyday
Although the idea of talking everyday sounds absolutely awesome. However, experts have concluded that it isn’t exactly necessary and talking everyday may do more harm than good.
When you are not in constant communication, it is easier to look forward to a more interesting conversation whenever you decide to talk. It keeps the mystery alive as constant communication can become exhausting.
3. Prioritize Your Schedules
This is very necessary if you’re in different countries with different time zones. Make sure your time of communication works well for both of you. What time do you crave conversation the most? When can you have unrushed conversation?
You need to make communication arrangements and be mindful about choosing a time that isn’t just comfortable for you but for your partner.
4. Set Some Ground Rules
It is important to set ground rules and boundaries in a Long Distance Relationship. Be clear to each other what you want from the relationship. Set ground rules that will make you manage your expectations.
For example, is it going to be an open relationship? Are you allowed to go on dates with other people? How strong is your commitment level in the relationship?
Lack of trust is one the biggest problem in LDR and it is best to communicate about these things to help your relationship.
5. Your Experience Won’t Be The Same as Everyone Else
It is advisable to make every decision in your relationship based on your own term, choices and experience. Your friends’ LDR may not be the same as yours. Remember that relationships are different and be careful with the type of advice and tips you follow. Understand the dynamics of your relationship, understand the type of person your partner is and try to make it work out on your own terms and not what others think. Don’t make paranoia affect your decision or let negativity make you overthink stuff.
6. You Both Have The Right To Have Fun With Other People
Don’t deprive yourself of having fun or enjoyment just because your partner isn’t there. You can create awesome and unforgettable moments and memories without your partner. It’s not being selfish, it’s about living your life to the fullest. Go on trips, go to your friends’ party, and do not feel guilty about being happy while your partner is absent. If there’s love and trust, having fun won’t be an issue. Don’t put your life on hold because your partner isn’t around.
7. Do Stuff Together
Just because you are not together doesn’t mean you can’t have fun together. Streaming services like Netflix makes it easy for you to binge watch movies together. You can plan a movie night via Skype, play games or online quizzes together. This spice up your communication and makes your time together less monotonous.
8. Trust is Important
One of the main ingredients in a Long Distance Relationship or any relationship for that matter is trust. This isn’t just about infidelity. There are other ways lack of trust can affect a relationship.
Can you completely count on your partner? Do you tell each other everything? How attentive is your partner while you’re communicating or is their attention somewhere else? Do they have the same end goals as you concerning the relationship? Do they stick to their plans or keeping pushing the date they are supposed to come without a tangible reason? These questions are important to both parties. Don’t allow room for any trust issues and always talk things out.
9. Have a Sex Strategy
It may be a little awkward to talk about a sex strategy but you need to have a communication about this. Apart from trust, sexual dissatisfaction is one of the main reasons people cheat or leave a LDR.
You should come to a sexual agreement. Some couples have video sex or sext regularly. Some have come to the agreement to have an open relationship and some have no problem leaving sex aside till they meet again. There’s no best method, it all depends on what works for your relationship and you won’t know what works for your relationship until you talk to your partner about this.
10. Set an End Date
It would be easier to have a clear information of when your long distance relationship is ending. As said earlier, you both need to have a clear understanding of your expectations from the long distance relationship. When are you seeing again? Who will be moving eventually? How many years is the long distance relationship going to last before you meet again? Do you have plans to eventually live in the same place?
It’s important for both parties to be committed to the relationship and know where they stand in the relationship.
Know that relationships are different from one another so it’s important to choose the tips that will work for your relationship carefully. Because it works for others doesn’t mean it will work for you and vice versa.
However, regardless of the relationship what’s important is communication and clear understanding of what you expect from the relationship.
Also, if you want to make your relationship work you have to give it your best and be sure you and your partner puts the same effort in making things work out. It isn’t a one-sided thing.