So you’ve been hanging out with a cute girl or guy, you are attracted to the person but the problem is “you’re just friends” and you want more.
Often, the best relationships are found where the partner is also the best friend. This is because, it’s easy to be yourself with your friends. You trust them, you can be your crazy self with them and they’ve seen you in your lows and highs. So it’s no surprise many successful relationships started as friendship.
Buttt… the “but” is transitioning from friends to lovers can be tricky and sometimes challenging. What if they don’t feel the same way? Would it affect your friendship? What if they just want to stay as friends but you want more? It takes a lot of effort to move from the friend zone to date zone and that’s why we’ve curated tips to help you get started.
Tips To Go From Friends To Dating
1. Think About It
Before you make any move, think about it and make sure it’s a good idea. You need to be sure you have true feelings for the person. Be sure if you’d be good together as couple. As much as having a romantic relationship with friends can work for some, it’s sometimes a bad idea in some instances.
Are you really compatible with this person? How would it change your relationship especially if they don’t feel the same way? Be open with your self and make sure you have a chance with that person before you take the shot. You definitely don’t want to lose your friend while trying to make them your partner.
2. Don’t Rush
Now, you’ve thought about it, you’ve asked yourself important questions and you’re sure it’s a good idea. The next tip is to take it one step at a time. Don’t just wake up one day, march to their house and kiss them as they open the door for you. It may work in RomCom but this is real life and you don’t want to pressurize them or go too fast. You don’t want to confuse them by reciting a long love confession to them a day after you teased them about dating their cute neighbor. Don’t Make It Awkward!
3. Spend Enough Time With Them Doing Regular Things
Like friends do, invite them to lunch, to movies, and do all those friendly stuff with them. Hang out with their friends, let them hang at yours and try to spend valuable and memorable time with them. Also, try to emphasize your sexuality, flirt with them, but in an unconscious way.
4. Flirt and Flirt The Right Way
Flirt with them but make sure you don’t go at it in a way that makes them uncomfortable or makes the situation awkward. You can start by giving compliments; on their shirt, their lipsticks, shoes, perfume. Go slowly, comment on how you think the work out is really paying off on their body, comment on the glow on their skin. Always make an hint that you notice them in “more than just friends” kind of way.
5. Take Advantage of Touch
Body language also matters, touch them from time to time. But please; Do Not Harass Them!
Play it cool. Hold their hands, hug them, grab their arms when laughing, push back a lock of their hair, make eye contact and let it linger. Always pay attention to how they respond. If they seem uncomfortable, don’t go too far. Moderation is everything.
6. Make Yourself Scarce
Sometimes, your friend don’t realize they are attracted to you because you’re always present. They are used to you being around whenever they need you, used to you doing everything for them that they don’t know how important your absence would hurt them. Sometimes, people value things more when it’s taken away from them. Use that principle. Make yourself less available, make them miss you and this may just increase their desire for you.
7. Create a Competition, Make Them Jealous
Jealousy and competition is another way to evoke some desire in your friend. It works when they feel the same way. Make friends with the opposite sex, talk about these friends in front of them. Spend as much time you spend with them with someone they may think as a competitor. People tend to value things more when they think they are going to lose it.
8. Don’t Sleep With Them
You don’t want to be friends with benefits if what you want is a relationship. It may really get awkward talking about your feelings after you’ve had sex with them while you were both drunk or comforting them. Sex may come later but make sure it’s after you are both on the same page on how you feel for them and vice versa.
9. If All These Tips Fail or (Work), Then Speak Up
While you don’t have to rush, if you have the confidence, you might as well speak up and be direct on how you feel about them. This should be the step if you have tried other tips and they seem to respond well.
It’s the following tips fail too, being direct with them is a good option instead of hoping they would come around. Admit your feelings to them but don’t demand an answer from them.
Make it appear like regardless of their answer, you have no attachment to the answer you receive. Your friend may be surprised especially if they had no prior hint that you are attracted to them. So admit your feelings, like you’re stating a fact, the way one would say the “earth is spherical.” Once you state your feelings, don’t wait for an answer but if you receive a response, then great!
10. Continue To Be Yourself With This Person
Once you tell them how you feel, don’t pressurize them. Let them process the information, stay calm and be assured they will address the situation. And if it’s not the answer you hoped for, don’t despair, don’t give up or end the friendship you once had with them.
Sometimes, your friend isn’t really into you and they prefer to just stay friends.
Even if your friendship would be awkward if they say no, don’t disappear on them. Sometimes friends are better at being “just friends”. And sometimes a friend is better than a boyfriend/girlfriend.
Now Get Out Of The Friend Zone!
Now, take a step. If you really want to leave that friend zone then you have to do stuff to make them know they mean more than friends to you.
Follow the above tips and hopefully you leave the “we’re just friends” situation with that “friend” you want a romantic relationship with.